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A short course for men on long lingering and

delicious love-making!

Agneta

by Agneta Milde

Agneta has been a friend for decades. She first came into my life as an au pair to our boys, in 1971. Twenty five years later we met again, and Agneta helped me through the immense trauma when my first wife ran off suddenly. She and I continue to correspond. She lives in Sweden.


For a man to read:
Love-making worth the name!

If you want extend love-making in time, make sure that your woman reaches ecstasy and end up with a relationship that deepens for every week: Read this and start to practise immediately!

Step 1 – love yourself!

The first step is to be comfortable with yourself inside out. If you can let go of all self-criticism and worries about your appearance and how your body looks without clothes including colours and shape of your penis, that’s a good start. If that is not the case there are actions to take like seeing a doctor, going to the gym, reading the right books or talking openly about your problems with your best friend.

penis
don't worry about your penis!

What else can be preventing you for loving yourself? Do you need to change your job, forgive your parents or take a series of speech lessons? It might be necessary to take important steps for realizing your big dreams of doing something heroic, adventurous or unusual? To be a real man is to have goals and without hesitation tread the journey towards them. To be a real man is to do just that thing that is waiting for you to be done.

There has been a tendency in society to choose equality before polarity between the sexes. When a man has started to feel convenient changing diapers and talking about feelings his next step is often to take leave from being a real man with initiative and strength. The women around him are occupied making all sorts of careers, wearing suits and being proud of their ability to take care of themselves. Some of them accept a love life with a female sort of man, but most of them prefer to be alone rather than carrying the burden of a man on whom you cannot count on when big decisions are to be made. Meditate on this and take a direction, man! What is your place in this world?

Step 2 – contract your pubo-coccygeus muscle as a daily habit

How do you function sexually? If you are a three minute man you either will have to search a great deal to find that very unusual three minute woman or make some preparations for changing your pattern. Most women do not even prefer a series of three minute episodes in bed. They like to dive into a sensual happening for a couple of hours where the man is at his top just on the threshold of ejaculating all of the time. But there he is present and alert for every change in his woman prepared to learn all the time what extra can be done to make her ecstasy even wilder.

Is that possible? YES! Know that and contract your pc- muscle 100 times daily, practise stopping when masturbating and try tying a ribbon around the root of your penis to see if it helps. If you breathe very calmly and concentrate on the outgoing movement it is easier and also if you stop breathing completely for 15 seconds when the climax is unwanted. These techniques can in the long run make a man multiorgastic. No sperm is coming, but it feels like an orgasm over and over again. Tao- masters can wait for months until they ejaculate, but what about trying a week for a change?

Step 3 – attitude

This article is about making love. It is not about using a person of the opposite sex to get rid of sexual tension or letting a person use you for the sake of forgetting sorrows, bills and boredom.

If you have found a woman who you can look in the eyes for a long time, laugh at yourself together with and who you can talk about masturbation, impotence and periods with –congratulations! When your heart is moved you cannot trust that your penis also moves in the direction you want, so that might give you plenty of time getting to know each other. Just tell your dame that these circumstances are common and do not last forever, kiss her even more eagerly and do not stop until every inch of her is caressed and kissed. Maybe you ask her to give you a back massage and afterwards you take a bath together. If the situation is right you might use the time to check what kind of touch she likes on her pussy, where and when, investigate her vagina with clean and wet fingers and even use a dildo together with stimulation of clitoris. She might be happy to be your 100 percent focus and answer with one or many orgasms, who knows? It all depends on what kind of woman you have found and communication is the key word. Tell her how you feel about the situation and let her convince you that it is only a matter of time and no reason to worry!

Step 4 – new habits

In films it is often a success the very first time and it might be that way for you too. The happiness to share a precious moment of closeness and intimacy can be enough. The age-old tantra trick is to insert penis into her open cave and lie or sit without moving for half an hour either as a way to connect and be aware of the energies between you or as a warming up before intercourse. You look each other in the eyes, say loving things to each other or only melt into silence or good music. If the man lies on his back and the woman is a little crossed on top of him it is easy to find a comfortable position. There are couples who start and end each day with twenty minutes like this. The old story of the man not finding the woman willingly accepting his yearning for her can be ended in this way. The woman feels that she is not a tool for a second of thrilling ejaculation and she can open easier to his man in this way.

If you get a trip from doing it on a plane – why not? This is not about taking on a battery of regulations, dos and donts. This is about adding to that which is already satisfying in order to reach new areas of happy togetherness. A piece of good advice is to once in a while arrange the circumstances so you can have sex in day time without a single drop of alcohol in your bodies. Aroma oils, candles and good music help the relaxation. Massage can be a good opener and easily digested food is recommended. The thought is that you do not wait for the sexy moment to arise. You create it!

Step 5 – what is in your head?

Whatever is there – release it! If you have had a quarrel earlier in the day you might have to listen to each other intensively for fifteen minutes each in order to start from a new level of understanding. That means LISTENING – show interest in how your partner feels about it all and when it is your turn to speak be brave enough to describe your own feelings completely.

If the last time you had sex was special in any way – forget that too. Memories and thoughts are preventing you from being here and now. You need to take extra care to get rid of all the sex movies you carry along in your memory bank for masturbation purposes. They have nothing to do with the real and shining woman you have in front of you .Expectations are poisonous! Do not even expect that this lighting of candles and preparing must end up in intercourse. Today might be the day for mutual massage with smelling oils and nothing more. Be in the moment, seek each others eyes and give what spontaneously arise in your heart. That does not mean that you cannot spontaneously express a wish for something.
- Please, touch me a little longer in that way! I love the way you play with my dick! More!

Step 6 – man = initiative

Romance is not about waiting and politely ask for permission. A man is someone who can read the moment and take initiatives. He can carry his woman to the bed and kiss her clothes of, touch her firmly and wildly not resting until she is shivering and begging for his entrance.
A man dares to ask his lady to move her lower body like a hula-hula dancer and meanwhile contract her pc-muscle in a rhythm. That can be useful both when she is on the top or during the missionary style Sometimes he checks that his dame is breathing deeply in her belly and encourages her when she dares to let all the sounds out. Sometimes he can command her to take over the clitoris stimulation in order for him to concentrate on a pattern of shallow and deep penetrations. Nine deep- six shallow – nine deep – six shallow….

A man also knows his limits. Sometimes he has to make a choice. Either he has to give his penis a rest and use his hand, tongue and other tools to stimulate the woman and later on he presumes his movements and they might have an orgasm together – or – he prefers to come and afterwards help his woman to an orgasm or several. The only thing that matters for the woman is that he is there, present with her and stays awake! The thrilling moment when he is letting go can be enough for her and she gets some sort of satisfaction from it. It can be an “inner orgasm” or several inner orgasms if the man can reach a top and come back there many times. Women stands for variety. There are orgasms and Orgasms. And there are ORGASMS.

Step 7 The female mystery

Just about half of the female population has difficulties reaching an orgasm. If you have met one of those and look closely, she might have a long distance between her vagina and her clitoris. During intercourse there will not be enough stimulation of clitoris, but she might be one of them who can reach an orgasm easily when she is alone. In that case half the job is done. She just has to teach you her methods. The other half of the job is to prove to her that you can do it better! Of course you can! She cannot kiss and thrill herself. Even if she uses the last invention of dildos that reaches for her three most sensitive spots at the same time, she will not have the kick of sensing your arousal. The energy in the room that you can create together can never lose in comparison to a dozen of tools from the sex shop. You can use these tools and make your woman go crazy. That happens because you played the game with her.

The first thing to discover is that the female sexuality is different from yours. It is her birth right to be different! Most women need 20-30 minutes to come to her highest peak of arousal.
Her hormones function in that way. She might be wet and like you to enter her, but if she gets more time to build up, her ecstasy will reach much higher peaks. A little orgasm in the beginning is just a kick-off. After some orgasms her g-spot will answer at its fullest. If you want to be sure to stimulate her g-spot it is easier when she lies on her belly and you come from behind. Some women prefers to sit on top of the man facing his feet. It is half of the fun to give all variations some time to show the both of you how much ecstasy they can offer.

Some woman do not even know that they have a g-spot inside her vagina approximately 4 fingers from the opening at her belly side. Doing a kind of scratching movement with your finger inside her is a more guaranteed method to stimulate the g-spot. When you have found the “sticky” area you can stay there with your finger and press. It has a tendency to move around a bit, so every time is the first time! During intercourse the woman can be helped by a pressure from the outside on this area. She will love to be kissed there too!

Step 8 – the difficult cases

If there is love in the air and your woman do not answer sexually there is always a reason. She might carry experiences from male misbehaviour, where she was not respected enough. It can even be so hidden in her unconscious depth that she has no memory of it. Her parents might have produced a cold environment where body touch was excluded.

Whatever it is, it can be cured. Sometimes professional help is needed. Often your love and patience can be enough. If you persistently give her loving touch and create space where you can cuddle, give massage etc without any demand of intercourse, she might ask for it herself.
It does not guarantee that it will not be interrupted or that she will not hide her real feelings about the experience. It can be a success if she shouts or screams. Your gentle touch of all her inner walls of the vagina can help her. She can report where it feels okay and after many repetitions the touching will be more and more pleasant. Let your love guide you. This woman can turn to a wild hurricane in bed. She has so much compensation of lost joy to catch up upon, so just wait!

Step 9 – the "dirty" areas

Look at the animals! For them nothing is dirty! If you give priority to a good hygiene and wants to play with your or your woman´s anus – and she likes the idea . why not? Often it is enough to touch around the hole, but for the man it is a matter of reaching his p-spot and a finger (maybe with thin plastic gloves or a condom on) can give him a treat with big T. Many women like to be touched a finger-tip in and there are all sorts of tools in the sex shop to try.

If you enter with your penis, make sure that she offers you an honest answer whether she likes it or not. The problem is that she can get aroused from it, but the man has already come and she feels cheated. When she gets an infection from having received bacteria in the wrong place she feels double cheated. If your lady is training her pc-muscle it can be much better than this porno dream of so many men. Bur whatever you do – do not go from the anus to the pussy with a dirty tool, whether it is a finger, a dildo or a penis!

Step 10 – what about you?

Even the most manly man in the world needs time of relaxation. Sex is not meant to be a time of performance. If you are not in the mood for licking your bride on her sensitive spots – do not do that! If you are tired and long for seeing your woman at the top – say that! You might even ask for a quickie and she will love to give you that. Maybe you then ask to be the witness of her finishing off herself?

Men who are not in the need of a therapist usually love to see their woman go crazy and cannot wait for the next opportunity to create that beautiful scenery of natural forces. If he takes care of his health and do not eat and drink to much he sees no effort in it. At the same time he often have a demanding job that he is proud of and often give priority to. No wrong in that! If you make sure that your woman also finds her time meaningful while waiting for you to spend time with her, it is terrific! If the woman are not in the common net of having to be both a man and a woman at the same time, she might have the energy to console you when you come home from a tough day at work – or a tough week? In case she has been able to build up her female energy, she might even dance on an imaginary scene, make a strip tease show and suck your dick with shining eyes. Intimate play between polarities is the highlight of being a human. For this to happen at its fullest peak the two partners involved have to have reached a certain level of personal growth. Neediness, ego-behaviour, repetitions of old patterns and a fear-based awareness stands in the way. What about you? If giving and loving comes natural to you, there has been the necessary cleaning up.


Well, those are 10 important steps for you to introduce into your sex life.

In the long run

When you have looked inside and decided that you prefer to be a gardener of a long term relationship rather than diving after new fishes in the pond over and over again – good luck!

For a man it is scary to be tied to an unpredictable woman and at the same time it is a chance of growth and happiness. If you can catch the answers in your own heart and go by them the success is in your hand. Do not worry about boredom! When you live here and now your woman is new all the time, the circumstances you create are new and the playful and ecstatic meeting in bed is new every second. Believe in your ability to stay young and healthy, take the necessary steps and go for HERE AND NOW. This does not mean that you stop having fun making plans and organize your future in a responsible way. It only means that life goes on here and now and you have better be there then!

The best lovers in the world are present. They are capable of loving and caring for themselves, but find it exciting expand this love to a partner and to the world. For him nothing is better than diving into this very moment with full awareness. So the key to a love-life worth the name is here and now!

Contact Agneta on: agneta.milde@telia.com

You might want to take a look here, too: http://www.loving-angles.com/

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