A short course for men on long lingering
and delicious love-making!
by Agneta Milde
Agneta has been a friend for decades. She
first came into my life as an au pair to our boys, in 1971.
Twenty five years later we met again, and Agneta helped me
through the immense trauma when my first wife ran off suddenly.
She and I continue to correspond. She lives in Sweden.
For a man to read:
Love-making worth the name!
If you want extend love-making in time, make sure that your
woman reaches ecstasy and end up with a relationship that
deepens for every week: Read this and start to practise immediately!
Step 1 – love yourself!
The first step is to be comfortable with yourself inside out.
If you can let go of all self-criticism and worries about
your appearance and how your body looks without clothes including
colours and shape of your penis, that’s a good start. If that
is not the case there are actions to take like seeing a doctor,
going to the gym, reading the right books or talking openly
about your problems with your best friend.
don't worry about your penis!
What else can be preventing you for loving yourself? Do
you need to change your job, forgive your parents or take
a series of speech lessons? It might be necessary to take
important steps for realizing your big dreams of doing something
heroic, adventurous or unusual? To be a real man is to have
goals and without hesitation tread the journey towards them.
To be a real man is to do just that thing that is waiting
for you to be done.
There has been a tendency in society to choose equality before
polarity between the sexes. When a man has started to feel
convenient changing diapers and talking about feelings his
next step is often to take leave from being a real man with
initiative and strength. The women around him are occupied
making all sorts of careers, wearing suits and being proud
of their ability to take care of themselves. Some of them
accept a love life with a female sort of man, but most of
them prefer to be alone rather than carrying the burden of
a man on whom you cannot count on when big decisions are to
be made. Meditate on this and take a direction, man! What
is your place in this world?
Step 2 – contract your pubo-coccygeus muscle as a daily habit
How do you function sexually? If you are a three minute man
you either will have to search a great deal to find that very
unusual three minute woman or make some preparations for changing
your pattern. Most women do not even prefer a series of three
minute episodes in bed. They like to dive into a sensual happening
for a couple of hours where the man is at his top just on
the threshold of ejaculating all of the time. But there he
is present and alert for every change in his woman prepared
to learn all the time what extra can be done to make her ecstasy
even wilder.
Is that possible? YES! Know that and contract your pc- muscle
100 times daily, practise stopping when masturbating and try
tying a ribbon around the root of your penis to see if it
helps. If you breathe very calmly and concentrate on the outgoing
movement it is easier and also if you stop breathing completely
for 15 seconds when the climax is unwanted. These techniques
can in the long run make a man multiorgastic. No sperm is
coming, but it feels like an orgasm over and over again. Tao-
masters can wait for months until they ejaculate, but what
about trying a week for a change?
Step 3 – attitude
This article is about making love. It is not about using a
person of the opposite sex to get rid of sexual tension or
letting a person use you for the sake of forgetting sorrows,
bills and boredom.
If you have found a woman who you can look in the eyes for
a long time, laugh at yourself together with and who you can
talk about masturbation, impotence and periods with –congratulations!
When your heart is moved you cannot trust that your penis
also moves in the direction you want, so that might give you
plenty of time getting to know each other. Just tell your
dame that these circumstances are common and do not last forever,
kiss her even more eagerly and do not stop until every inch
of her is caressed and kissed. Maybe you ask her to give you
a back massage and afterwards you take a bath together. If
the situation is right you might use the time to check what
kind of touch she likes on her pussy, where and when, investigate
her vagina with clean and wet fingers and even use a dildo
together with stimulation of clitoris. She might be happy
to be your 100 percent focus and answer with one or many orgasms,
who knows? It all depends on what kind of woman you have found
and communication is the key word. Tell her how you feel about
the situation and let her convince you that it is only a matter
of time and no reason to worry!
Step 4 – new habits
In films it is often a success the very first time and it
might be that way for you too. The happiness to share a precious
moment of closeness and intimacy can be enough. The age-old
tantra trick is to insert penis into her open cave and lie
or sit without moving for half an hour either as a way to
connect and be aware of the energies between you or as a warming
up before intercourse. You look each other in the eyes, say
loving things to each other or only melt into silence or good
music. If the man lies on his back and the woman is a little
crossed on top of him it is easy to find a comfortable position.
There are couples who start and end each day with twenty minutes
like this. The old story of the man not finding the woman
willingly accepting his yearning for her can be ended in this
way. The woman feels that she is not a tool for a second of
thrilling ejaculation and she can open easier to his man in
this way.
If you get a trip from doing it on a plane – why not? This
is not about taking on a battery of regulations, dos and donts.
This is about adding to that which is already satisfying in
order to reach new areas of happy togetherness. A piece of
good advice is to once in a while arrange the circumstances
so you can have sex in day time without a single drop of alcohol
in your bodies. Aroma oils, candles and good music help the
relaxation. Massage can be a good opener and easily digested
food is recommended. The thought is that you do not wait for
the sexy moment to arise. You create it!
Step 5 – what is in your head?
Whatever is there – release it! If you have had a quarrel
earlier in the day you might have to listen to each other
intensively for fifteen minutes each in order to start from
a new level of understanding. That means LISTENING – show
interest in how your partner feels about it all and when it
is your turn to speak be brave enough to describe your own
feelings completely.
If the last time you had sex was special in any way – forget
that too. Memories and thoughts are preventing you from being
here and now. You need to take extra care to get rid of all
the sex movies you carry along in your memory bank for masturbation
purposes. They have nothing to do with the real and shining
woman you have in front of you .Expectations are poisonous!
Do not even expect that this lighting of candles and preparing
must end up in intercourse. Today might be the day for mutual
massage with smelling oils and nothing more. Be in the moment,
seek each others eyes and give what spontaneously arise in
your heart. That does not mean that you cannot spontaneously
express a wish for something.
- Please, touch me a little longer in that way! I love the
way you play with my dick! More!
Step 6 – man = initiative
Romance is not about waiting and politely ask for permission.
A man is someone who can read the moment and take initiatives.
He can carry his woman to the bed and kiss her clothes of,
touch her firmly and wildly not resting until she is shivering
and begging for his entrance.
A man dares to ask his lady to move her lower body like a
hula-hula dancer and meanwhile contract her pc-muscle in a
rhythm. That can be useful both when she is on the top or
during the missionary style Sometimes he checks that his dame
is breathing deeply in her belly and encourages her when she
dares to let all the sounds out. Sometimes he can command
her to take over the clitoris stimulation in order for him
to concentrate on a pattern of shallow and deep penetrations.
Nine deep- six shallow – nine deep – six shallow….
A man also knows his limits. Sometimes he has to make a choice.
Either he has to give his penis a rest and use his hand, tongue
and other tools to stimulate the woman and later on he presumes
his movements and they might have an orgasm together – or
– he prefers to come and afterwards help his woman to an orgasm
or several. The only thing that matters for the woman is that
he is there, present with her and stays awake! The thrilling
moment when he is letting go can be enough for her and she
gets some sort of satisfaction from it. It can be an “inner
orgasm” or several inner orgasms if the man can reach a top
and come back there many times. Women stands for variety.
There are orgasms and Orgasms. And there are ORGASMS.
Step 7 The female mystery
Just about half of the female population has difficulties
reaching an orgasm. If you have met one of those and look
closely, she might have a long distance between her vagina
and her clitoris. During intercourse there will not be enough
stimulation of clitoris, but she might be one of them who
can reach an orgasm easily when she is alone. In that case
half the job is done. She just has to teach you her methods.
The other half of the job is to prove to her that you can
do it better! Of course you can! She cannot kiss and thrill
herself. Even if she uses the last invention of dildos that
reaches for her three most sensitive spots at the same time,
she will not have the kick of sensing your arousal. The energy
in the room that you can create together can never lose in
comparison to a dozen of tools from the sex shop. You can
use these tools and make your woman go crazy. That happens
because you played the game with her.
The first thing to discover is that the female sexuality
is different from yours. It is her birth right to be different!
Most women need 20-30 minutes to come to her highest peak
of arousal.
Her hormones function in that way. She might be wet and like
you to enter her, but if she gets more time to build up, her
ecstasy will reach much higher peaks. A little orgasm in the
beginning is just a kick-off. After some orgasms her g-spot
will answer at its fullest. If you want to be sure to stimulate
her g-spot it is easier when she lies on her belly and you
come from behind. Some women prefers to sit on top of the
man facing his feet. It is half of the fun to give all variations
some time to show the both of you how much ecstasy they can
offer.
Some woman do not even know that they have a g-spot inside
her vagina approximately 4 fingers from the opening at her
belly side. Doing a kind of scratching movement with your
finger inside her is a more guaranteed method to stimulate
the g-spot. When you have found the “sticky” area you can
stay there with your finger and press. It has a tendency to
move around a bit, so every time is the first time! During
intercourse the woman can be helped by a pressure from the
outside on this area. She will love to be kissed there too!
Step 8 – the difficult cases
If there is love in the air and your woman do not answer sexually
there is always a reason. She might carry experiences from
male misbehaviour, where she was not respected enough. It
can even be so hidden in her unconscious depth that she has
no memory of it. Her parents might have produced a cold environment
where body touch was excluded.
Whatever it is, it can be cured. Sometimes professional help
is needed. Often your love and patience can be enough. If
you persistently give her loving touch and create space where
you can cuddle, give massage etc without any demand of intercourse,
she might ask for it herself.
It does not guarantee that it will not be interrupted or that
she will not hide her real feelings about the experience.
It can be a success if she shouts or screams. Your gentle
touch of all her inner walls of the vagina can help her. She
can report where it feels okay and after many repetitions
the touching will be more and more pleasant. Let your love
guide you. This woman can turn to a wild hurricane in bed.
She has so much compensation of lost joy to catch up upon,
so just wait!
Step 9 – the "dirty" areas
Look at the animals! For them nothing is dirty! If you give
priority to a good hygiene and wants to play with your or
your woman´s anus – and she likes the idea . why not?
Often it is enough to touch around the hole, but for the man
it is a matter of reaching his p-spot and a finger (maybe
with thin plastic gloves or a condom on) can give him a treat
with big T. Many women like to be touched a finger-tip in
and there are all sorts of tools in the sex shop to try.
If you enter with your penis, make sure that she offers you
an honest answer whether she likes it or not. The problem
is that she can get aroused from it, but the man has already
come and she feels cheated. When she gets an infection from
having received bacteria in the wrong place she feels double
cheated. If your lady is training her pc-muscle it can be
much better than this porno dream of so many men. Bur whatever
you do – do not go from the anus to the pussy with a dirty
tool, whether it is a finger, a dildo or a penis!
Step 10 – what about you?
Even the most manly man in the world needs time of relaxation.
Sex is not meant to be a time of performance. If you are not
in the mood for licking your bride on her sensitive spots
– do not do that! If you are tired and long for seeing your
woman at the top – say that! You might even ask for a quickie
and she will love to give you that. Maybe you then ask to
be the witness of her finishing off herself?
Men who are not in the need of a therapist usually love to
see their woman go crazy and cannot wait for the next opportunity
to create that beautiful scenery of natural forces. If he
takes care of his health and do not eat and drink to much
he sees no effort in it. At the same time he often have a
demanding job that he is proud of and often give priority
to. No wrong in that! If you make sure that your woman also
finds her time meaningful while waiting for you to spend time
with her, it is terrific! If the woman are not in the common
net of having to be both a man and a woman at the same time,
she might have the energy to console you when you come home
from a tough day at work – or a tough week? In case she has
been able to build up her female energy, she might even dance
on an imaginary scene, make a strip tease show and suck your
dick with shining eyes. Intimate play between polarities is
the highlight of being a human. For this to happen at its
fullest peak the two partners involved have to have reached
a certain level of personal growth. Neediness, ego-behaviour,
repetitions of old patterns and a fear-based awareness stands
in the way. What about you? If giving and loving comes natural
to you, there has been the necessary cleaning up.
Well, those are 10 important steps for you to introduce into
your sex life.
In the long run
When you have looked inside and decided that you prefer to
be a gardener of a long term relationship rather than diving
after new fishes in the pond over and over again – good luck!
For a man it is scary to be tied to an unpredictable woman
and at the same time it is a chance of growth and happiness.
If you can catch the answers in your own heart and go by them
the success is in your hand. Do not worry about boredom! When
you live here and now your woman is new all the time, the
circumstances you create are new and the playful and ecstatic
meeting in bed is new every second. Believe in your ability
to stay young and healthy, take the necessary steps and go
for HERE AND NOW. This does not mean that you stop having
fun making plans and organize your future in a responsible
way. It only means that life goes on here and now and you
have better be there then!
The best lovers in the world are present. They are capable
of loving and caring for themselves, but find it exciting
expand this love to a partner and to the world. For him nothing
is better than diving into this very moment with full awareness.
So the key to a love-life worth the name is here and now!
Contact Agneta on: agneta.milde@telia.com
You might want to take a look here, too: http://www.loving-angles.com/
